Numerous scientific studies have shown what parents of atypical talents know from their everyday experiences — since the beginning of the world. Namely, that their parenthood-related stress, depressive symptoms, and anxiety levels are significantly higher than those of other parents.
It depends on the child’s behavior, our partner’s reaction and involvement, and the expectations placed on ourselves. Mothers feel more tension and discomfort regarding the child’s self-regulatory challenges (sleep, negative emotions, eating, sensory sensitivity), while fathers feel tension and discomfort regarding the child’s behavior (activity/impulsivity, opposition/aggression, and aggression toward peers). While the common failures in social skills (boding, connection, social relations, communication) discourage both parties to the same extent. It is also important to notice that the mental balance of spouses greatly influences each other’s coping successes.
Maintaining our mental health and quality of life is the only way to balance ourselves, our family, our relationship, leading to our child’s physical-mental-spiritual development.
It is your journey, You have to walk the way. Unpacking your childhood bundle, processing your relationship with your parents. Submerging and resurrecting.
You may sit down to relax now and then. Cry, if it helps. But then stand up and commit to take 1 step every day. For the child, for your family, for yourself.
A mother who was once broken in faith and on the verge of self-denial met the educator in the hallway of a music school from whom she had just collected her child and shared that she had been surfing the internet overnight and diagnosed herself with massive burnout symptoms. She expected shock and compassion. Instead, the teacher just said, “It’s nothing! This is my third time coming back from there. We, mothers, are omnipotent.”
In my experience, it will take several years before you raise your head and walk with calm, confident steps again. But believe me, all your efforts will pay off. You will become a war-tested soldier. Heads up! One day you’ll be teaching your grandchildren’s parents about all that you are learning these days.
Now get a drink, listen to music if you wish, and be proud that you are the one who provides shelter for a great soul strengthening its wings.